the new beau

So Friday I moved from an apartment on camp to a mobile home... still on camp. It was not a big distance but it was still a move... clean the new place, pack all my junk, load the vehicles, stack everything in piles with great help from great friends, clean the old place and begin to settle in.

As I was scrubbing the floor tonight I likened my new location much like a new dating relationship, only the feelings are a bit reversed. I was saddened when I found out my location was going to change. Typically one wants their relationship status to go from single to a big red heart accompanied by the word "in". I tried to have a good attitude, keep the big picture in mind and trust that the Lord would give me grace to face the change.

Next came the stress of packing, humility in asking for help, lots of cleaning (which I credit the majority of to my dear helpers!). A new relationship will go smoother with lots of 'cleaning'... of attitude to put someone else before you, of heart to allow them to see your motives, dirty as they can be, of vulnerability which is never easy. Figuring out the new relationship and how important it will be in your life is stressful.

My enthusiasm increased as my perspective increased. Sub-conscience desires are attainable. I realized the move would mean I would have a place to myself, something I didn't know I'd been wanting. Having a roommate (or a few) is great but when your roommate changes 5 times in 5 years, it gets tiring adjusting and transitioning to figure out a new system that works for you both. My trailer will be mine; I won't have to keep my things from inconveniencing someone else or explain why I do what I do, I can just live how I want. In dating, I hear you realize just how self centered you are. Yet you also see your ability to share your life with someone as they share their life with you. As you get to know that person you come to appreciate characteristics you may not have known were important to you and new things become special to you. Every new partner is a brand new experience.

Now that I am here I'm happier than I expected! I've got Jesus in my heart so I always have JOY - knowing that everything that happens will eventually be for good. But as I started to make this place my home, my shelter, my safe place, I felt really happy and truly thankful. God knew what He was doing opening up this change and as I experience it, I'm happy deep down inside.

I'm spending all my spare time thinking about what needs to be done and with the new place. I get both excited and overwhelmed by it all. I feel like I'm in it to see it through, however long the Lord allows me. Hope I can keep the motivation going because my list is soooo long right now. I'm trying to enjoy the journey and be realistic that it can't all happen right away but instead to cherish the moments and be happy with progress in steps. And just put up with the inconveniences... like banging my shins on boxes, not knowing where my scissors are and rooting through 5 boxes until I find that shirt.

Maybe I'll post pix.... But for now, I am going to go spend more time with the new love of my life. :)

when i can't explain it...

it must be God!

My mind is a whirlwind, almost making me dizzy, jam-packed full of far too many details. [inbetween the last sentence and the next to come I opened 3 web browsers to check different things and started 3 to do lists!] There is so much on my mind right now that it makes no sense why I am so excited except that the Lord has given me enthusiasm to do what he's called me to do. I am coaching and pastoring Elementary Soccer camp at Hebron this week. I meant to spend the afternoons last week in the word coming up with my little sermonettes (side note: I don't like preaching and dread it really) because I didn't have specific responsibilities last week. HOWever, on Tuesday the Lord saw fit to change all that. My coworker who was leading a backpacking trip called and asked me to come relieve him because of a bad cough. So I packed my gear in half an hour and jumped in the car to drive 3 hours to meet the group at a bail out point. Then I was hiking through Friday afternoon. So much for spending hours in the Word. I'm just believing God's got a plan in all this because I can't explain it.

All I can do to respond is be thankful that He's given me an excitement to see what He's going to do and let me be a part of.