some people

I just don't understand why people watch the food network while working out at the gym. Yes, if I keep working out I'll be able to eat more but it seems counter productive to want to eat a donut after burning calories! I just wanna barf when it's on. Let me feel good about getting in a workout and the benefits of feeling good physically and mentally with the endorphins pumping. NOT make me finish a workout early so I can go home and pig out. Come on people. Eiyah.

Like a fuzzy mirror

Reflections in a pond are like a fuzzy mirror. Reflections of our lives are also unclear. There are quite a few things I'm currently mulling over, trying to see positively unsure what is "right". I've come to the conclusion there is not one 'right' answer. Maybe a better question is to ask what would honor God the most, or what are the most respectable ways to face these thorns in the flesh? How can there be very good arguable answers and processes to take on one issue from two similar people who have very different perspectives? Questions I'm currently reflecting on in no particular order - some in my life, others from questions & conversations with friends are...

-Why are there so many people in leadership positions who are not good leaders?
-How much work does it really take to be in a committed relationship?
-How can teens with far-less-than-ideal home situations find hope?
-What does it look like to respect yet challenge people in authority to improve and lead more effectively?
-Why do some relationships appear so hopeful and like a gift from God only to end very poorly, causing doubts of God's hand ever being a part of all the excitement?
-How much MORE could God work if we truly lived in fellowship as He designed?
-Why do girls hurt their bodies by starving themselves?
-How can honest feedback from a loving and dear friend feel both refreshingly open and frighteningly convicting at the same time?
-Why to we settle for things that do not satisfy and end up instead making us feel cheap, used, worthless?

If I knew all the answers I would have a hunger to ask questions or seek for answers. I wouldn't appreciate the answers without the searching and discovery through experience and revelation. Pain lets us experience joy in greater measure.

"For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears." I Cor 13:9

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." I Cor 13:12-13

time consumption

Currently coaching high school girls soccer. Time consuming is one way to describe it. I sure to love it though. I'm not entirely sure why or able to articulate the reasons but I look forward to it every day.

My role as Assistant Coach meant being a sounding board and supporter of the head coach during practices (all girls practice together) and varsity games and coaching during JV games. We had 36 girls (that's... a LOT.) Lots of talent. This group of seniors helped win the league title for the first time ever in our 7 year history two years ago as sophomores. It's a challenge to get to know the freshman because they are so shy and timid around me (if I could wear pants the first week of pre-season I would so they wouldn't be so intimidated by my calf muscles.) :) It's hard to know what decisions I make as a coach affect the girls when they barely talk to me. But 2.5 months later its so fun to know a little more about each special gift.

This week we've officially entered post season. Let me brag on the girls a bit.

Varsity Girls 2010
Regular season record: 13-2-2
Goals for: 69
Goals against: 17
Shutouts: 9

Junior Varsity Girls.
Regular season record: 10-1-2
Goals for: 31
Goals against: 7
Shutouts: 8
*JV gals get gipped when it comes to games. Some other teams don't have enough players to go 11v11 or even have a jv game. Other times their game gets majorly shortened with the threat of rain and need to get the varsity game in. One game was 15 minute halves. :( But they took advantage of each minute and won that "game" 2-0. Atta girls!

These accomplishments helped the Varsity clinch the title of Schuylkill League Division III (i.e. smallest schools) winners. For playoffs the Div III winner plays Div I (biggest division and bigger populated schools) second place team and Div II winner plays Div I first place team. Clinching the D-III #1 spot also adds another title to our jackets from winning 2 years ago AND, get this... a ride around town on the fire truck. :) Oh yeah, that's how we do it in the country. haha. It is actually quite fun. Don't knock it till ya try it.


This week we take on Tamaqua who handed us one of our 2 losses in a disappointing 5-0 loss. Regardless of how Schuylkill League playoffs go we play our other loss opponent, Lancaster Country Day on November 1 for a state bid. Seeing as how District 3 in PIAA only has 4 schools with girls programs in the fall we do not have a District 3 playoff, just a chance for one school to compete in States, fall addition, of PA scholastic girls.

If you hate sports you haven't read this far. If you managed to endure to this length, thanks! And take time to say a prayer that the Lord will use the time I have with the girls to help impact them in positive life choices.

so this is it?

"So you're 30, huh?"
"Yup."
"Well..... alright then."


"Happy Birthday! 30, right?"
"Apparently."
"Any joint pains?"
"Uh... No."

Woke up on a lovely Sunday morning, Sept 26, 2010 in a tent during a beautiful fall weekend spent with friends during an annual whitewater rafting trip. Those were a few conversations that took place. A dialogue concerning age is fairly unimpressive. I had to think about whether or not I had any joint pains because I think I could use a good massage or chiropractor session to straighten out my back as my left hip feels a bit... weird. It's not pain really but a bit uncomfortable but not truly bothersome, but just enough to keep me aware of it and not enough that sometimes I wonder if I'm just making it up. Either way, a massage would feel really good regardless. :)
I don't feel or look old but that sure sounded old!



Had yet another great whitewater rafting weekend. Wilderness Voyageurs outfitter employee Ben gave us some great quotes during the river briefing. Here are a handful of examples:

"Wedgies work wonders in crisis situations" ... in reference to rescuing fellow boaters from the water when they take unexpected swims.

"You never hear of butt entrapment because they don't happen. Don't stand up because foot entrapments do"... why the swimmer should go bumpers up with feet pointed down river

"They are narcissistic selfish buggers and don't deserve a bicycle. You have a paddle. You should use it. Pone their bike and take it back in to town." ... what to do when a rails-to-trails cyclist refuses to help you if you ask for it


We had a barrel of monkeys amount of fun and enjoyed the SUN and 60+ degree weather. Warmest weekend on record for me for this trip. River was bony and low so we spent more time paddling just to move forward and less time playing in rapids because they weren't as fun or really there in low water. But it's all good and I def breathed easier after we all made it through dimple, albeit some a bit wetter.
It took a long time to get home Sunday because we didn't like saying goodbye so they stretched out and we had like 6 of them (at the campsite, at the lookout, at Sheetz, etc.) It's not fun to leave such beautiful pa wilderness and quality people. At least the memories live on and friendships prevail. :) Thanks all for a great weekend!

what's on my mind

Dread isn't quite the word in mind but something akin to it is. I just don't quite have the exact word. No matter, the issue is my upcoming birthday. Ever since I was 14 I really liked the age I was. When the next age would come around I was ok with it and felt like I enjoyed where I was and didn't focus on what was to come. Even turning 16, while driving was on my mind a lot, I didn't count down the days to it. (It helped that my b-day was early fall and before a lot of my friends birthdays. They were all anxious to turn 16 and start driving. I may have rubbed it in that I was older but just to be a tease.) Fast forward 14 years and I'm again the one turning a big number before them. Only this time, they aren't jealous of me. Haha. Yup, that's rights, I'm turning 30 the end of September.

I've asked my older friends how they handled this milestone. So far no one has had real encouraging advice. It seems this crux is a common difficulty for my circle of American friends. I started looking on the web to see what's out there about turning 30 and found a few funny blogs. Taking the idea from one uber optimist, here's a modified list of 30 reasons why turning 30 is going to be ok.

My list:

1. I get to be the "young one" playing over 30 soccer. (My friends have been knocking at my door for their over 30 teams for at least half a year!)
   
2. I get to check a new age group box on forms.
3. I get to say, “I remember when I was in my 20s”.
4. It is a milestone birthday.
5. I have something to blog about
6. It's a good topic of conversation, at least with my elders. Those younger than me just rib me and make me feel old.
   
7. I get 10 years to prepare for turning 40.
8. I get to take the time to look at a new vision for my 30s.
9. I have stopped trying to find myself and started enjoying just being myself (this started over a year ago but still applies).
10. Be thankful that I still feel like I am in my prime of life physically. At least my high school soccer players make me look good. I hear that you hit your prime in your 30's for numerous things (physically). I may need to take up some new hobbies.
11. My birthday cake will be nice & bright and require a fire extinguisher to put out. That'll be a proud moment
    
12. I have great experiences from my past and I get to add new ones!
13. I can celebrate BIG for this birthday.
14. I have years to get use to being called Lady or Ma'am.
15. When I get carded it is a compliment instead of them not thinking I am old enough.
16. All the life lessons I learned in my 20s, I can now apply to my life.
17. Don’t have to worry about turning 30 because I will be.
18. Get to read all the self help books about surviving your 30’s and nod in agreement with them.
19. Do not have to do it alone since many of my friends have turned or will be turning 30 with me.
20. A major birthday like 30 means better presents!
21. 30 is the new 20.
22. People naturally take you more seriously when you are in your 30s.
23. You get to smile when people can not believe you are 30.
24. No longer have to struggle to be an adult because you have years of practice.
25. Be proud that I still have not gotten any gray hairs!
    
26. When I was younger 30 was OLD, now I feel 30 is young.
27. I don't need to wait for Santa to bring me a wii, I can go get my own.
28. I maybe turning 30 but I will still always be the youngest in my family.
29. Turning 30 makes you appreciate your 20’s
    
30. There is only one option to not turning 30, that is death. I say, “Welcome 30!"

win-win

It's nice when something works out for the better for more than one party. Someone familiar with camp commented that this place (where I'm now living) needed someone like me to spruce it up on the outside. So it's like we needed each other. I needed something to look after and improve and it needed someone, period. Most of the time it was vacant or only occupied on an 'as needed' basis so it was slipping into disrepair. It needed a good bath. check. The roof needed a sweep & gutters had little plants growing in them. check. The steps to the front door and back deck were so icky they were slippery & green. check. The aroma that hits you in the face is stale must (not the good, cabin must, haha). work in progress. Roof still needs re-pitched, I've got plants & flowers to plant and I just started washing the windows outside but its coming along.

I'm even ok with the quirkiness of it. The dryer just started acting up, letting the laundry kick the door open which shuts it off. Makes it pretty tough to get anything dry when it shuts off after 30 seconds. I've resorted to shoving a folded up piece of newspaper in the door which seemed to do the trick. The dishes may pile up (it does help when I know I have company coming) and clothes need to be folded but all in my time. In turn, I have lovely little tin can to call home. Stop on over for a visit (try to hit me up after I've stocked up on groceries though so I can feed you something)!

the new beau

So Friday I moved from an apartment on camp to a mobile home... still on camp. It was not a big distance but it was still a move... clean the new place, pack all my junk, load the vehicles, stack everything in piles with great help from great friends, clean the old place and begin to settle in.

As I was scrubbing the floor tonight I likened my new location much like a new dating relationship, only the feelings are a bit reversed. I was saddened when I found out my location was going to change. Typically one wants their relationship status to go from single to a big red heart accompanied by the word "in". I tried to have a good attitude, keep the big picture in mind and trust that the Lord would give me grace to face the change.

Next came the stress of packing, humility in asking for help, lots of cleaning (which I credit the majority of to my dear helpers!). A new relationship will go smoother with lots of 'cleaning'... of attitude to put someone else before you, of heart to allow them to see your motives, dirty as they can be, of vulnerability which is never easy. Figuring out the new relationship and how important it will be in your life is stressful.

My enthusiasm increased as my perspective increased. Sub-conscience desires are attainable. I realized the move would mean I would have a place to myself, something I didn't know I'd been wanting. Having a roommate (or a few) is great but when your roommate changes 5 times in 5 years, it gets tiring adjusting and transitioning to figure out a new system that works for you both. My trailer will be mine; I won't have to keep my things from inconveniencing someone else or explain why I do what I do, I can just live how I want. In dating, I hear you realize just how self centered you are. Yet you also see your ability to share your life with someone as they share their life with you. As you get to know that person you come to appreciate characteristics you may not have known were important to you and new things become special to you. Every new partner is a brand new experience.

Now that I am here I'm happier than I expected! I've got Jesus in my heart so I always have JOY - knowing that everything that happens will eventually be for good. But as I started to make this place my home, my shelter, my safe place, I felt really happy and truly thankful. God knew what He was doing opening up this change and as I experience it, I'm happy deep down inside.

I'm spending all my spare time thinking about what needs to be done and with the new place. I get both excited and overwhelmed by it all. I feel like I'm in it to see it through, however long the Lord allows me. Hope I can keep the motivation going because my list is soooo long right now. I'm trying to enjoy the journey and be realistic that it can't all happen right away but instead to cherish the moments and be happy with progress in steps. And just put up with the inconveniences... like banging my shins on boxes, not knowing where my scissors are and rooting through 5 boxes until I find that shirt.

Maybe I'll post pix.... But for now, I am going to go spend more time with the new love of my life. :)

when i can't explain it...

it must be God!

My mind is a whirlwind, almost making me dizzy, jam-packed full of far too many details. [inbetween the last sentence and the next to come I opened 3 web browsers to check different things and started 3 to do lists!] There is so much on my mind right now that it makes no sense why I am so excited except that the Lord has given me enthusiasm to do what he's called me to do. I am coaching and pastoring Elementary Soccer camp at Hebron this week. I meant to spend the afternoons last week in the word coming up with my little sermonettes (side note: I don't like preaching and dread it really) because I didn't have specific responsibilities last week. HOWever, on Tuesday the Lord saw fit to change all that. My coworker who was leading a backpacking trip called and asked me to come relieve him because of a bad cough. So I packed my gear in half an hour and jumped in the car to drive 3 hours to meet the group at a bail out point. Then I was hiking through Friday afternoon. So much for spending hours in the Word. I'm just believing God's got a plan in all this because I can't explain it.

All I can do to respond is be thankful that He's given me an excitement to see what He's going to do and let me be a part of.

The travels of DuckLee

Ducklee found his way with us to Guatemala. He was a wonderful source of fun and kept things light when we were tired of cultural barriers.


After a sleepless night in a hotel lobby, Ducklee made us smile as we check in at the airport at 3 a.m. for our first flight from Dulles to Atlanta, then on to Guatemala City.



Amanda takes Ducklee through customs, less than 3 ounces!!
(WHY do we use "oz" as code for ounces?)


I was tired so I had a disability: I licked things. Thanks Ducklee, that's a real friend.



DuckLee poses with Gary, super nice guy on the plane who gave us money to go out for a nice dinner. He said if I lived closer to DC he'd set me up with his son... haha

Mandi & D enjoying Pepsi (minus the ice!) at our nice dinner.


Ducklee & Ro-Do. (we wanted ice cream but the pastry shop closed so we had to do the walk of shame to Micky D's - worth it for a sundae)


Enchiladas y Gallo Cerveza (not pictured)

D at Lake Atitlan (there should be some accent in there but I'm not sure where so i just left it out)

Ducklee backseat driving our cabbie during our jaunt to downtown Guatemala City. Ohh Duckles!

Humdinger

that's a fun word to say. It may also well represent a new little hobby that has stumbled upon my path in life. My friend Nancy prodded me to join her in a race. Not your typical, ho-hum road race where all you think about is how slow you're going, how much you want to stop and all the parts of your body that hurt. No, this was a real HUMdinger! The website describes it best, read here and come "experience" it next year!

Staying warm by the PA Valley Team's soccer mom support mini-van with Ray & Nancy Adams pre-race.

My brother Kirby has a lil addiction to these trail runs which to be honest I did not understand. After experiencing one (because it really is an experience, not just a run) and processing/exclaiming the results to him he hinted that I have now had a good go at it and understand the fun and may myself get hooked. I fear he may be right! :)


My "uniform". Oh yes I did. this was my coping mechanism not to be so intimidated (7.1 miles with hideous elevation change) for the race... dress like the soccer player that I am. And no, those aren't polka dots, they're soccer ball print! Touche' for this Goodwill-find-of-a-gem.

A couple pix from the race website:
Yet another hill... nooooo!
In action on the course

Me & Nancy post race, 'death' faces.

Runner's pose. Heidi would say "Kendra you have the weirdest ideas for photos". What can I say? Life is fun!

This was how everyone finished the race before crossing the timing mat. I slid down head first and it was a truly fantastic way to end the race!


My bragging rights - scraps from the briers

Race Results

haha, don't ask

a little too confident in the jeep, a little too deep of a snow bank...

heeeheee

Jet setter

Did I mention I went to Guatemala for a weekend back at the end of February? It's true. The older camp staff called me a jet setter, I had no idea what that meant. It's not true but I did just fly off to Guate for a weekend.

Bus driver texting. He was stopped here, but did he complete his social networking by the time the light turned?

Some government type building in downtown Guate City

I ordered tapas for lunch... garlic flavored cheese. I got a bowl of cheese.

So colorful.

Who says horsies don't need diapers? In Antigua they do!

Mandi the awesome travel companion and I at some Catholic church in Antigua.

The pretty courtyard outside our hotel at the Mayan Inn in Chichicastenango.

what people see through the "windows" of our lives

I had to (yes, had to) speak at a chapel last week. I really didn't want to but I knew it was my turn and there was no bumming it off on to someone else. Long story short, it went pretty well and God came through, like I knew He would by giving me something to talk about. I even enjoyed it... especially after it was done. :)


My topic was What if "camp" was a way of life? I tried to share how the awesome things that make a summer at camp so special could also be incorporated, indeed SHOULD be incorporated, as part of our every day life. Here is one of my points.

Camp life involves being a role model and discipleship. We share our faith first and foremost by living it out. Our bodies are a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1-2). I’ve heard it said that our lives may be the only “bible” that some people ever read. We all have an “inner” life – where we keep certain things to ourselves like our dreams, ambitions, hopes, oddities, etc. We all have an “outer” life as well. This is what people see and observe. Do they always get us right, understand our motives, really KNOW us? No, of course not. One thing that drives me nuts is when I am misunderstood or people put me in a box about who they think I am. We all do that to other people and we’ve all had it happen to us. But I digress. We are to live lives that support and act upon our beliefs ….

The other weekend I was with some friends and we were driving up 11/15 towards Lewisburg. There is about a 2 mile stretch of two lanes of vehicles jockeying between traffic lights. I looked over and this girl in the car beside us was digging for gold. There was no attempt at being stealth either! Just as I exclaimed this to my car-mates, the finger comes out the nose and goes lower!! AAHHHH!! I couldn’t believe it. And it continued to last through another traffic light! Just like cars, there are some barriers of privacy but people can still see into the windows of our lives. Use this illustration as a check point. People may not be able to know what’s in my heart, read my thoughts, or listen to my conversations but what actions in my life are evident? Do I love God and people?

Discipleship is an on-going process and should involve growth. Have a mentor, be a mentor. There are no grandchildren in God's family. We are all sons & daughters. It is so encouraging to see campers come back the next year, a little bit taller, a little less needy and asking deeper questions about faith. Similarly, when summer staff want to come back for another summer a big part of the interview process is hearing what they are doing to continue to learn more about God and choices they are making to put their faith into action. After all, it's mighty tough to share authentically what you don't first have personally. Jesus' disciples saw him praying and asked him to teach them how to pray (Luke 11:1). At camp discipleship takes on many forms. We pray together, talk about our struggles, serve one another and choose to have a good attitude no matter what. This leads to lots of joy and campers absolutely adore their counselors and hope they can have them the next year. They love being around positive role models who make life fun because they model what it is to love Jesus and live for God.

Any time nose picking can draw a spiritual parallel... :)

'dance' through 2010

This was forwarded to me and it's pretty awesome. The visual is great and someone at work today reminded me that God loves to see us enjoying life! What a cool thought to see Jesus giving the thumbs up at me just because I'm laughing & having a good time. We don't have to always be serious and trying to 'attain.' After all, who is the one that created enjoyment? yup, that guy.

Dancing with God
When I meditated on the word Guidance
I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
the movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i".
"God, "u" and "i" dance."
God, you and I dance.
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer fo ryou today is that God's blessings
and mercies are upon you on this day and every day.
May you abide in god, as God abides in you.
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
and to guide you through each season of your life.

I hope you dance through 2010!

in lieu of

After a run on the treadmill at the gym, my bowels informed me to stop at the loo before going home. While talking to a man about a horse the pitter patter of little feet skips in to the stall beside me. The mini-tumbler (referring to a child in training of Shannon Miller aerials, not the container of consumable liquids) does an equal amount of business to her size, sighs and exits, foregoing the washing of hand and flushing of toilet.
Gross. Oh well. Maybe she was taught 'if it's yellow, let it mellow'....

I was nearing the end of my time behind the hiney hider when another dear little one enters the room. Tumbler Two is in the process of selecting a stall. Standing, I reach back and give 'er a flush only to be met with "AHHH! AHHH!"

Stiffling a chuckle I ask, "Are you ok?" in my kindest big person voice. "Yeah..." "Did you know I was in here?" "NO." "Sorry." [Teehee :)]

As I emerge, the little one has situated herself on a porcelain throne and begun to get down to business. I'm washing my hands when a conversation begins, "My name is *Natalie. What's yours?" Now I'm talking to the voice of a person I've scared and only seen the feet of! Too funny. "My name is Kendra. Sorry to scare you. Have fun in your class!"


*Name changed for privacy purposes, plus, I don't remember what she said her name was

from the mouth of babes

soccer goodness.

From the kids, literally

By Mike Woitalla

We continue to receive entertaining examples of what happens when children misinterpret, can't comprehend, or take literally adults' instructions since Susan Boyd's "Lost in Translation" column appeared last month.

Richard White recalls coaching U-10s and telling a boy to mark one of the opponent's wingers: "Jeff, where ever he goes, you go. Mark him, and stay with him." When that particular winger was subbed out by his coach, White saw him and Jeff sitting side-by-side on the other team's bench, chatting.

"Early in my soccer career I told the kids their positions," writes Richard Weishaupt. "Left this, right that, etc. Most of the kids dutifully went off to the correct place but one kid walked to the center and practically sobbed, 'Coach, I don't know left from right.'"

When Jim Madison's grandson was 6 years old, the coach told the boy to start at left back.

"Where does that mean I am supposed to play?" the boy asked.

"Here," responded the coach, pointing to a spot on the field at the left side of the back. Says Madison, "And here is precisely where the young man dutifully ran and stood, rooted to the spot on the ground even when the ball came within a step or two."

Heidi Flores' husband coaches a U-10 team. One of the team's new players was playing in defense and when an opposing player dribbled toward the goal, the coach yelled, "Go to the middle, Belle!"

"She proceeded to run smack dab to the middle of field, inside the center circle!"

And just last week at a kickaround, after some young players impressively strung passes together before a cross nearly resulted in a goal, I said, "Way to use the wings!"

An 8-year-old girl looked up at me, held up her arms, and said, "I don't have any wings."

(Mike Woitalla is the executive editor of Soccer America. His youth articles are archived at YouthSoccerFun.com.)

Might surprise you

...to learn that on the rare occasion I sit on my butt during a mid-week afternoon practicing being a zombie, I avert my eyes to the tellie. When scanning the guide and seeing showings of America's Next Top Model a little squeal erupts from my throat. What's worse is they put an entire series on, running continuously for a whole day! I haven't yet been able to catch an entire series (this is NOT seen as a tragedy). I'm going to attempt to make this sound like a noble undertaking of my slackerhood now so take that as your que to stop reading if you like.

Yes, the drama that can prevail with such a demographic living in one home whilst simultaneously competing for a singular coveted title is petty. That is not what keeps me watching, though it can def add to the sociological interest. I think it's the inner Princess in me who wants to be beautiful. I sit there and begin to think "I could do that."

Tyra is a big part of the draw as well. In everything that goes into the photo shoots, the judging panel reviews and the trips, Tyra is constantly giving modeling tips that promote making healthy, professional, respectful choices in the pursuit of the coveted career that is modeling. Those tips translate in to life and many of the eliminated model-wannabes speak of growth in personal confidence and life experience as a result of their time on the show.


My competitive nature kicks in as well. Head high, meet the camera with confidence, carry yourself with dignity, have a backbone. Be you: Strong, Beautiful, Wonderfully created YOU. That's how our Creator intended us to be.



How beautiful, attractive, stunning it is to meet someone who has come to accept themselves for whom they were created to be. It's when we are least concentrated on self and focused on what the Lord puts in our life, doing what He gifts us with to do, with a thankful heart, singing His praises, that we lose ourselves and truly live a life worth living.



I hear that is attractive.



.

A favorite topic

Paper made from poo...

Mr. Ellie Pooh - paper that is composed of 75% elephant dung and 25% consumer paper in Sri Lanka (map). How's that for brown- I mean Green.

Jason's parallel to deeper thoughts on "what comes out"

One of the most memorable sermons I heard mentioned care-taking of Elephants (thanks Pastor Woody!) He mentioned that if you are taking care of elephants, there will be poop, BIG poop. The church cares for people. With people, there is MESS; oft times - BIG mess. It's part of the equation.
The natural progression from these statements would be to prattle on about how it's noble to get in up to your elbows in ministry and be a good person for God, helping others sort through their messes. That's where I want to take the discussion. However, what I appreciate about Jason's musings was how you have to pull out a mirror and examine the self. What is coming out of my life? More importantly, what am I doing about what I see? In the mature age of late-20's (scrambling away from accepting that my days of a 20 something is whittled down to mere months) I feel as though I am more aware than ever of my temptations, pitfalls, unuseful (apparently that is a word I made up) habits and tendencies, shortcomings, etc. What I struggle with, or more often fail to struggle with, is how to go about addressing these hindrances. Sadly, not addressing my struggles make me far less useful to God. Ironically, if I am at least open and vulnerable about my struggles I am most useful to God. In my weakest is when HE is strongest. What?! Yeah, crazy cool. But if you look at examples in life it starts to make a bit of sense. I don't think God intended for it to make sense but on certain levels it does. After all, who wants to learn something from someone who acts like they are above you and are perfect but have pity enough to associate with you? That's crap. We know no one is perfect. There is commonality in admitting one's struggles because we ALL struggle. No one wants to feel alone. When a friend comes along beside us and relates to us on a real level or has 'been there' before, how uplifting it is!

Wait... this sounds familiar. Yeah, Jesus! HE knows what its like. He's been here. Had real feelings. Experienced life. Lived, breathed, walked, worked, cried, got angry... and pooped. Now, he never sinned but He truly was perfect. And humble. And unconditionally loving and grace giving. You don't have to become perfect to get his love. He loved us when we were still his enemies. Crazy. Cool. Really cool. He did it, he wants us to WANT HIM to help us be like him-- knowing full well that we can't ever achieve it. With man, nothing is possible. With God, it is possible.

Shew. Gotta take a break for that to settle in. And go admire the beautiful sky light show He's putting on. And get groceries. Life goes on. We can choose how to experience it.




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Meeting Together

How good it is to meet with brothers & sisters. Just got back from our annual Mid-Atlantic Section of the Christian Camp & Conference Association held in Mt. Bethel, PA along the Delaware River at Tuscarora Inn & Conference Center. It was a great time of networking, fellowship and reconnecting with strangers who have become friends.

It wasn't a relaxing or refreshing time because I am in a busy season and lacking sleep and at times exhausted. BUT there is a lot that I need to make time to reflect on and be thankful for which will in time be refreshing. So thankful!

no I did not....

oh, wait. yes.... i guess i did. Hmmm.
I'm having a moment where I recall a memory that feels more like a bad dream or an out of body experience. I told someone this weekend that I don't believe there will be Mennonites in heaven. Well, there goes my ticket to eternal bliss. Might as well start living for debauchery now.

It's not so much that I said this because taken in context the statement may have been a bold one opening doors to deep discussion of God's wonderful promise of eternal life to not only his chosen people the Jews but also an extension to Gentiles (not the least of which will most certainly include the Mennos). The issue is that I said it with a pre-conceived notion of habitual conflict of differing views of the intended listener's ears. Days at my beloved EMU, center of higher education, has confirmed that any interest in pious 'dialogue' of round about discussions that fail to end on statements of 'Thy Word is Truth' and 'Jesus is It', as non-existent for Miss Martin.
...Especially when she is sleep deprived. AND when the fellow dialogue includes persons who represent previous scoldings of accused 'shame on you' quotes at not being Mennonite enough. Or rather, their definition of said denomination which varies GREATLY from what I was taught at a young, impressionable age.

I should just know by now that this is a must and have fun with it. I'm just not there yet. I still have a hard time appreciating or overlooking when .05% isn't glowingly agreeable and supportive. These things happen. And it does make for quite a story and some good chalk ups for hard knocks. (As IF I really have 'hard knocks' in my super cool life). Not to leave my audience hanging but I think I've said enough for now. If I divulge too much more I may be shunned by the Liberals of the "mennonites" (the kind who cause ppl to wonder what exactly makes them claim the name.)


Peace. Love. Joy. and tune in to see what will be my next blasphemous utterance!