God's love is. That's it, it just IS. Maybe some day that will click in my mind. This can be a very difficult concept for me to grasp because the kind of love that I experience, feel and compare to is human love. In my life human love has been earned, lost, won over, conditional, a checklist, missed the mark, temporarily fulfilling and disappointing, incomplete. I've both been on the receiving end and been the giver of this human act of love. When I meet someone there are times without trying to I bring along a checklist. Is this person attractive? do they annoy me? are they intriguing? what makes them tick? can I listen and converse with them? are they real? will they accept me if I'm honest? what benefits are there from knowing this person? What will a friendship with them require of me? Am I willing to give that? I can almost guarantee that I would fail God's checklist for me to earn His love. Do I have a checklist for my relationship with my Creator? How ridiculous! The awesome thing is, He loves me. He LOVES me. HE loves me. He loves ME! and YOU. No one is worth His love but he loves us anyway, more than we can grasp. Wow. What will it take for me to understand this? Maybe some day...
I cuddled a 2 month old peanut over the weekend. He was simply perfect and my kind of baby. He was so content being all bundled up and outside in the 40 degree weather around a campfire, nookie in mouth. Someone made the comment that I looked so natural with a baby in my arms. My comment in return was simply, "maybe some day." If I may be real... I admit that being a mommy is something that I don't let myself dream about. I guess I could adopt as a single parent but there is no WAY I'd want to tackle parenting alone. Raising children takes two. A community even. Seeing as how I am as single as I have ever been and no indication from the Big Guy who holds my future of whether my soul mate is really out there, I gently push that desire aside and continue enjoying freedom that is young adulthood singleness to come and go as I please. Maybe some day...
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